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06:11pm 05/02/2007
 
mood: hungry
music: The Sounds of the TV: Chapter 24
Yes, it has been a long while since I ever got on here, but I decided I would use it as a space for rants and blogs, and stories now as well, I think. Or at least previews for stories, since they can get rather long.....


So, this is my introduciton post. Nice to meet you :) I go by several alias', including my OC (original character) Koji Nokemono (Nokemono Koji if you want to be culturally correct, Oryen, Jolis, or Palla. Yes, I've adapted the name Palla from the book, The Sight. As for Oryen, it's a different way to spell Orion, but I pronounce it more like (or-ee-en). And Jolis was my FFXI Online char. which was actually a misspelling for the French word 'joulis,' which means 'beautiful.'


So, without further ado, I'll post a blog and maybe part of a story to get things going :)


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Here it goes…..




http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ex-gay




The more I read, the angrier I get. Maybe it's just my biasness..... I read a blog from a kid named Zack who had to stay at this place. The horror! x.x



Oh, I'll warn anyone now who bothers to read this that I can get very opinionated and sarcastic when I debate, so don't take it personally. I'm also pointing out my views, so don't think I'm telling you that whatever you believe is wrong. It might be wrong to ME but that doesn't really make it wrong.




That is your warning.


Maybe this is just a stereotypical view, but aren't (I'll just go ahead and generalize it) Christians 'supposed' to be more or less accepting of people's differences? Or is it only when you feel guilt? For example, if you strongly believe in pro choice, some/most Christians would disagree (and we're just sticking to the topic of Christians here, not other people) and that's ok, but going as far as vehemently attacking someone, be it verbally or otherwise is ridiculous. And it's not just religiously either, people are close minded about so many things, they just shake their heads and ignore what you stay instead of at least considering the implication. I don't believe I'm hypocritical in my bias because I realize there are people out there who are like that, who have that belief and I respect that, but I'm going to form my own thoughts and opinions here on the matter.



Anyway, so there are a lot of people who just don't want to be wrong, but they don't want to be open minded because OMG it's uncomfortable! It's TOTALLY violates my personal space and beliefs. I'll reiterate, this does not apply to everyone, but still, quite a few can take this hint. I don't know if it's just discrimination or arrogance or both but some of these lessons life gives us need to be brought out clearer and not ignored just because it makes you 'uncomfortable.'


Ok, for the first section of the article. Love in Action has no scientific proof. No it doesn't. It bases it on assumptions and faith. If these people WILLFULLY want to change, that's one thing, but forcing kids in there because they don't share your beliefs? That's cruel! What kind of a parent would do something like traumatizing their child? They might 'think' it's 'right' for them, but they aren't the child now are they? No. I agree that a lot of people grow up not knowing what's 'best' for them because they don't want to face responsibilities, but when you get to adulthood and think along those same tracks? That's hardly a right to decide for your child what is 'best' if you can barely take care of yourself. Yeah, it might be legally correct but that doesn't make it 'right.' And yeah, some parents are afraid OMG my child is GAY the world's gonna END! Still waiting for the apocalypse, people.



Back on track. Scientific proof..... forcing YOUR will upon someone involuntary, absolutely helps your child become a better person! In fact, they might get out of a mental ward before they die of old age. No wonder people get so mental. Society is absolutely crushing people and forcing them with peer pressure into accepting ideas again their beliefs and will. How humane is that? What the heck do you think these puritans were trying to do when they crossed over to North America? It was to get away from the things we're doing now. The problem with kids and teens, and guilt ridden people is that they're easily swayed by society. It's manipulative, and if someone older tells them they're doing wrong judged by society, (like being gay, or being a pagan) then the kid, teen, guilt ridden person will break easier. They don't want to say, "No, I don't believe that," because others will force themselves upon them. Kids want to fit in, but, "if you're gay, or if you're a nerd" you can't fit in. Sadly, with beliefs that childish high school outlook is taken a step farther and abused because of age and societal hierarchy.



This goes along the lines of right thing, wrong reason and/or wrong thing, right reason. If you cannot stand someone for being who they are and you just gotta gotta gotta gotta change em or you'll keel over and die, stop and think about it. Is this about you or them? If it's supposed to be about them, at least make sure they're willing first. If they don't wanna listen, I don't blame them. You can try again, but if you keep pressing it, all you're doing is running them off. Also, YOU might think something is RIGHT, but you're either doing it the wrong way, or for the wrong reason. You're doing it because you feel an obligation or duty, or because you're feeling particularly pious and you just gotta get it out. That or you're pessimistic. If it's the wrong way, it means you're probably over zealous or at least intent on getting your point across, and because of that you're just not paying any attention to the person you're lecturing. That or you just won't hear what they have to say. Failing to consider the other person and their point of view, particularly if you're initiating the conversation or actions, is not helping the other person, so if you're doing the 'right' thing for the other person, you just failed. Get outta my class.



Okay, next paragraph, 1st sentence (of the article). Yes. Words are manipulative. If you make it sound good, and innocent, and safe, it covers up the horrible or untrue/impure/dishonest intentions. It really does work. I see it in High School all the time, and I was hoping the drama would stop when I got out, but apparently I'm doing better to live with he-said, she-said, who broke up with who, in High School. At least people will listen a bit more there. And this goes back to the previous paragraph, so if you think I'm saying your view to change someone is wrong, go read it again.



This is a little off the subject, but I still wonder why people would make themselves suffer like that, whether it's their beliefs or not. You can't help who you fall in love with you. You don't get up one day saying, "I'm gonna like Jasmine today. I think I'll be gay for today." It doesn't work that way. Suppressing it or living with the right/wrong paranoia, as I'll put it, isn't helping. Sadly, (this applies to previous talk about kids, teens, and guilt ridden people) society pressures the standards of right and wrong, so a lot of people might love someone and dearly want to be with them but... what if their friend at work will hate their guts and disassociate with them? What if the guy at the bakery won't serve you rolls because he thinks you're hitting on him? What kind of outlook is that? It's a pessimistic, hopeless outlook, and anyone with strong Christian beliefs should be ashamed! You had NO problem with this person until they fell in love with someone, something they can't exactly help. You people have about as much support as a wet noodle for these people, and it's not doing them any good. (yes, as you can see I tend to focus on certain kinds of groups and people :P I can't cover it all at once! But I might try....)


I had a thought here.... we're advocating love and we're teaching pure instinct. The argument is, homosexuals cannot produce offspring. So if we change them, they can produce kids, but they'll never be happy, they won't love that person the same way (assuming their 'changing' out of guilt or to make someone happy) and really, their soul wouldn't be saved either, at least not in the sense that you want it. (when did I change to second person? o.O ) And adopting kids is bad? Or can only 'straight' people do that? What about single parents? If it's bad for the kid to be raised with two dads or two moms, why is that much better to be raised by a single mom or dad?


Reading on..... I see stuff about being gay, but gender identity doesn't seem to be in the picture yet. Oddly enough people tend to think getting a sex change is weirder than being gay. Have you ever looked at the process for getting a sex change? Or evening taking the wife's name on in marriage? It's ridiculous! It's about as bad as spending hundreds, thousands extra just to eat healthy. Only it's worse because you can be fat and live healthy, you can't be psychologically screwed over and be healthy.




Okay, on down again..... marriages. "As a matter of morality, it is generally regarded that the spouse must be made aware of one's past and/or ongoing struggles with same-sex attractions before the marriage takes place.[7] Some married ex-gays acknowledge that their sexual attractions remain primarily homosexual, but seek to make their marriages work anyway."



You know this is a big thing. We gotta let these people know we once had a boyfriend or girlfriend. I've killed a couple people because they looked at me the wrong way.....but I was gay at one point in my life. I wonder if people said they were pansexual if it would raise hell and horror... Guess not. And back to the 'making their marriage work.' I consider that to be on a kind of guilt basis. Just about any way I look at it, it seems guilty to me. A little paranoid too. I mean, you just had your world turned upside down because OMG you're gay and that's 'wrong.' Now, I'm not saying it's a cover up, I'm saying if you feel guilty about being gay and you seek partnership with someone else then there are probably guilty thoughts somewhere in there, hence all the repenting, or else a false security.




"Since one may be "ex-gay" without having experienced a total, or even any, change in sexual orientation, that some ex-gays may "fall back" into "old patterns of behavior" is seen as something to be expected. "




Sounds like guilt to me. Tell people what they want to hear 'I don't want to be gay! It's so wrong!' but that's not really how you feel. Geez we're talking about it like it's an addiction or a bad habit.... then again it seems to be treated that way. This isn't like nymphomania or smoking. It's love and preference. If you've had a really bad experience with a gender that makes you prefer the same gender, I seriously don't blame you. If you can have Gay Panic Defense, why not Straight Panic Defense? Like if a guy had a really abusive mother and cannot stand being close to women other than to chat with or work with in his job, why shouldn't he have a legal defense if a woman totally freaked him out by making an approach or otherwise?




It's sad that someone can be pressured so much into changing their view of people. You know the saying love is blind? If love is blind it doesn't care about gender or age, race, religion, height, weight.... most of those are aesthetics, and though some may be debatable, like age, not many people would stop a 50 year old marrying a 20 year old. If they love each other why should it matter? The only thing age is for, is getting legal status and telling you how many candles to put on your cake. Again, it's the will of instinct to reproduce over the will of love and human compassion and so many of the things people wish they could be or think they are.



"Those changes in reported sexual orientation are generally dismissed as the result of denial, wishful thinking, sexual repression, or willful deception."



I blame society..... again.



Hmm in regards to Love in Action, which I think I originally read about around the summer of 2005. Zach... or Zack, kept a blog which I might still have the link of, telling about his ordeal with LIA and what was going on before, that if I remember correctly, dealt with all the rules and regulations all the way down to you have to wear pressed pants if you're a guy and your hair can only be this long kind of thing, which he wasn't supposed to know about as a 'patient' there. Apparently there were also activities that Mom and Dad never knew about or were informed about either.



http://www.mikeditto.com/archives/kudos_to_queer_action_coalition




Okay, I'm down to the point where homosexuality is an illness??? What are you people, daft? An illness? Oh come on, that's the worst excuse I've heard. I could almost see it as a disorder, something based on environmental and experimental factors, but there's still the difficulty of not choosing who you fall in love with.



Ok, thoughts about testimonial. They say there's no scientific proof whether someone can change their orientation or not, and that these church people rely on testimonials as proof. Well, if someone's pressured into saying and doing things they don't want, that's not changing them, that's forcing them to do something against their will. If someone says something just because you want to hear it, just not make it truth, oath or not or whatever else. I'm willing to bet a majority of these testimonies are false. I don't think they're anything to go by at all, and hardly proof.




"Therapy directed specifically at changing sexual orientation is contraindicated, since it can provoke guilt and anxiety while having little or no potential for achieving changes in orientation."




Random off the wall comment. I read about getting gender changes and the legal process, and I thought it was interesting that you were required to have some kind of counseling or psychiatric overview as well as everything else. I can understand it it's to make sure it's what you believe and want to do, and I might bring up points, but I would not try to dissuade anyone. This more positive counseling is what I would approve of, over something like LIA or Exodus.



"....those who have undergone various conversion therapies indicates that while there are indeed some who claim to have maintained a change in behaviour and a very small number who report a change in orientation, these are far fewer than ex-gay organisations such as Exodus and Narth regularly claim and are outnumbered by those left with worsened problems of depression, anxiety and alcohol/drug addiction."



Back to the 'testimonials' and the truth of them. Seems if a person is gullible enough to be manipulated as say things against their will, people are gullible enough to believe false testimonials. Why is this? Because it sounds good to them, because it makes them sound successful? Obviously if you have very few people actually changing out of the vast majority that doesn't... then you're doing something WRONG, something COUNTER productive.



Shock factors.... oddly enough my friend had be visit a few shock sites because he thought it'd be funny.... I noted one at least, of which involved gay men. Using homosexually as a shock factor? Well I can't say it fazed me, but aside from the stupidity, ignorance, immaturity [list truncated]..... that so graced this page.... no I still don't see how it's a shock factor. I suppose to others, if it really did work, it only proves how close minded and uncompassionate people can be.



So, although this was original thought to cover LIA, it went more into the whole Ex-Gay 'movement' and the ludicrousness of it. I'm sure when I find the need I'll post other blogs covering... other issues. Feel free to reply or debate, I don't really care. My style of debate can get sarcastic at times, and maybe you don't want to hear that, in which case you're taking it too personally. Either way, you made it to the end or at least made use of the scroll bar.


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Well yes, I will use this for rants/blogs and stories. Have fun :)		  
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